Others on The Journey: Enneagram 1s
Suzanne often says, she knows the enneagram really well (yup!), but nobody can talk about an enneagram number as well as that number can. And, a main goal and mission of Life in the Trinity Ministry is to grow community. We are excited that Others on The Journey will be an example of both!
What Other Enneagram ONEs on The Journey are saying:
I'm a 1. I'm also nearing the end of my 3rd round of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. On one of your podcast episodes you talked about 1s writing evening pages instead of morning pages in order to sort out those voices and silence the inner critic. Finally a few weeks ago I found the perfect name for my inner critic- Bruce! As a child I was terrified of sharks (at 44 I still have a healthy fear of them). My older brother used to torment me by chasing me with a rubber shark and singing the "dun-duh" theme song from Jaws. A few years ago we found that rubber shark packed away in basement of our family home and my kids think its hilarious that I was ever scared of it. The crew on the set of Jaws called the mechanical shark "Bruce." I remember going on the Universal Studios tour at age 13 and being surprised that I was not scared of Bruce when he emerged from the water by our tram. So I've named my inner critic "Bruce", even though I know some lovely Bruces in real life. 2 weeks ago I painted a small picture of Bruce on a yellow background (my power color) to sit on a tiny easel on my desk. Sometimes my morning/evening pages are letters talking back to Bruce. It's pretty silly sometimes, but often very empowering and helpful. Thank you for all you do and for helping connect the dots!
Hi! I'm an Enneagram One, and long before I knew about the ennegram, I began the work of healing from childhood neglect and trauma. Back then there was a lot of emphasis on the inner child, so I began to view my critical voice as I would a wounded child, and I befriended her. When I get the most critical and resentful, I know it's because I'm sad and worried I've done something wrong. So I refer to my inner critic with terms of endearment, "Sweetie" or "Honey" or "Pumpkin."
It took a lot of patience, but it worked! Today, when I feel myself gearing up for a rant, I take a deep breath and check in with, "Hey Sweet Pea, are you OK?" It worked so well that when I discovered the enneagram 5 years ago, it took me a while to identify as a One, because I didn't instantly relate to the critical voice of perfectionism. But trust me, I'm a One!! I've just been working hard for years.
Thank you for all your teaching - I love these podcasts!
Alison
I have had trouble naming my inner critic - I just realized it is probably because I wanted the name to be perfect. I chose today to call my inner critic Ms. Derazan after my 4th grade teacher (I am 50 so this teacher made quite the impression). I chose this name because the feeling of inadequacy and shame I get from my inner critic reminds me of how I felt in her class. To clarify, she was not trying to shame me in any way. She let me know when she felt I had not done my best work, she knew I had great potential and wanted me to do my very best always - the shame came from me. It is the feeling of utter shame and inadequacy that differentiates the inner critic from negative self talk. Would love to hear you talk to Brene Brown who identifies as a one talk about this topic. Some ones resonate with me so well - as an example Richard Rohr’s recent interview with Jen Hatmaker totally confirmed for me that I am a one. I so relate to his description of himself as a child, it was very clarifying.
Hum... so much to say. Thing about me is it isn’t so much about the perfection as it is about the struggle for good. Good enough isn’t enough.
My critic’s name is Birtha and she is Big Birtha lately when I can quiet her she goes by Bitty B.
Some examples JUST from just today (note I’m a teacher about to go back to work... in a pandemic)
1.My SIL called me out today on something that I impulsively and angrily (gut triad ) posted on social media. Hurt her feelings. We talked it out and I apologized and 3 hours later Birtha is still looping through my brain with incessant regret analyzing the situation that is very over.
2. Attended a training yesterday that promoted tiktok, something that is nowhere near clean or censored enough to be used in education. I just really felt the recommendations the trainers were giving about making tiktok style videos could be taken wrong by parents or kids. Couldn’t just keep my thoughts to myself... instead I sent an email to the training manager to question the judgement I just couldn’t let it slide, felt like it was so wrong and I want to make sure other teachers don’t get confused or mislead to think it was right. There’s the 1 to 1 subtype
My biggest fear in back to school is not illness, it’s actually not being GOOD at my job because there are so many restrictions. I feel satisfaction when I do well at my job, but this feels like all teachers have been set up for failure. The guidelines are absolutely unachievable. Keeping kids safe “the best that I can” just doesn’t seem like enough.
There you go... day in the life of a 1. It’s not so fun to be a 1.
Hi Joel and Suzanne, my name is Sunshine, I am an enneagram 1, writing in to share my experience with the inner critic for Others on the Journey.
While I immediately resonated with the 1, it took me a while to identify my inner critic. I truly thought everyone experienced that.
I do believe I have a parent 1, and that definitely started me on the journey with my own inner critic. Her voice speaks less than my own now.
I have named my inner voices. I have 2. Pam speaks to me about all the ways I can do and be better. I appreciate her, because I would never be who I am without her. However, when she gets too loud or prickly, Cruella steps in. Cruella is the voice that steps up to protect my inner child, but in doing so she lashes out at those closest to me, I am a sexual subtype. She pushes the unrealistic expectations on to my people. She makes me outwardly critical and judgmental. I am getting better at stopping her, and having more compassion for myself.
When I am aware and an outward voice or experience triggers Pam, I can remind myself that "this is not about me." For example, if my 5 husband gets to the dishes before I manage to, I have two choices; I could let Pam "should" all over me and have me believe I am not doing my job as a wife and mother. Or, I could remind myself this is not about me. This is my 5-guy loving me well by sharing his energy with me and doing for me.
When Pam gets loud, I take myself back to the beginning, to Genesis and the creation narrative. I remind myself that God created man and called him good, not perfect, but good. And not because of man's goodness, but because of God's goodness. That usually calms her down.
I should also mention, Pam apparently has a face, my husband and I have talked enough about her, he can see her in my eyes and will ask, "What's Pam telling you?" We laugh about it, but it's a good reminder to turn inward, pay attention, and remind myself to breathe.
I hope this will be helpful. Thank you for all you do, the insights you share, and the light you bring to the world.
